"My biggest turn on is a girl with a tatt."
I wouldn't normally post about this, but it's a City Hangover recovery day, so...
One of the great things about Blogger is the randoms that it sends to your blog. For those of you not into this isht, it can go one of two ways: First, when you update your blog, a ticker on the blogger website will link to your blog until it is displaced by the next updated blog in the blogosphere. Second, you'll notice a "Next Blog" link at the top of most Blogger hosted sites. This will link you to a random Blogger, um, blog. Whew. I've never used the term "blog" that much before. What a loser.
Anyway, so this results in probably half of my site traffic on days I make updates (which is around never these days, but I digress). I know this because I track every visitor with eagle eyes in hopes that Scarlett Johansson has finally read the emails I've been sending her. Nope, just Mom again. Scarlett, I want that table tennis lesson you promised me. You know, the one where you said you'd wear that white dress from Match Point? You can't ignore me forever, dear Scarlett. No one can. Insert evil laughter.
Well, I had a really good random today. The guy's site is called Guy Goode. I didn't spend too much time on his site, but instead went straight to his profile. It is classic. And if his picture is real (please, God), I want to be his friend. An excerpt for you:
"...I have a couple of tatts. One on my thigh is the tasmanian devil breaking a baseball bat over his knee. I don't like baseball, but I like the intensity, you know? My biggest turn on is a girl with a tatt. I like dolphin tatts the best."
Dolphin tatts? Now that I think of it, we may be competing for the same girls...
One of the great things about Blogger is the randoms that it sends to your blog. For those of you not into this isht, it can go one of two ways: First, when you update your blog, a ticker on the blogger website will link to your blog until it is displaced by the next updated blog in the blogosphere. Second, you'll notice a "Next Blog" link at the top of most Blogger hosted sites. This will link you to a random Blogger, um, blog. Whew. I've never used the term "blog" that much before. What a loser.
Anyway, so this results in probably half of my site traffic on days I make updates (which is around never these days, but I digress). I know this because I track every visitor with eagle eyes in hopes that Scarlett Johansson has finally read the emails I've been sending her. Nope, just Mom again. Scarlett, I want that table tennis lesson you promised me. You know, the one where you said you'd wear that white dress from Match Point? You can't ignore me forever, dear Scarlett. No one can. Insert evil laughter.
Well, I had a really good random today. The guy's site is called Guy Goode. I didn't spend too much time on his site, but instead went straight to his profile. It is classic. And if his picture is real (please, God), I want to be his friend. An excerpt for you:
"...I have a couple of tatts. One on my thigh is the tasmanian devil breaking a baseball bat over his knee. I don't like baseball, but I like the intensity, you know? My biggest turn on is a girl with a tatt. I like dolphin tatts the best."
Dolphin tatts? Now that I think of it, we may be competing for the same girls...
posted by cjb at 9:24 PM
22 Comments:
WENDY!!!!
I enjoy that his wide variety of interests include CSI--but not CSI Miami. How discerning, Guy Goode.
Shoople - I thought the exact same thing. Do you think he likes Ford Mustangs? Perhaps the interest in dolphins is enough? But then again, this guy lives in Calgary, and I just don't think Wendy would up and move for some random guy she doesn't really know. Oh...wait...
Wendy is coming to NY in a few weeks and she's all mine. I am renting a Mustang, getting some "Support Our Troops" stickers, and getting a dolphin tatt on my inner thigh.
Yes, yes, let's see who wins Wendy's heart. Whoever it is, though, has to accommodate her when she inevitably comes to town every weekend thereafter. She's not staying with me.
And don't forget her other interest, Joey: The tattoo she actually sports is an enormous Mickey Mouse on her ankle. My dad almost died when she showed him what she'd done... She was 26 years old at the time, after all.
I already have a restraining order in hand...
Plus you'll have to compete for her with Ray Wiggum, whose rock-solid seduction strategy goes something like this:
1. Tell her that he was outside the WTC when the first plane hit on 9/11 (true)
2. Tell her that he had to run from the ensuing debris (true)
3. Tell her that he ran all the way to the Hudson, where a friendly talking dolphin offered him a ride away from Manhattan and all the way to Disney World
Sorry, Joey, but that beats the Mustang. He won't even need the soccer jersey this time around.
doobie doobie doo....
where's amber chang?
Wait, I feel left out. Who is Wendy? does she have a dolphin tatt? I don't know what's going on. I nearly spit out my beer when he said he likes any books in the Dragon Lace series. Should I be ashamed that I know what series he is talking about. Wait. I just answered my own question. Fuck.
Somebody should wang chendy
Did I mention how thoroughly disappointed I am that I'm missing "The Hooples Do New York"?
I actually priced out airline tickets last weekend after hearing of the big barbecue. Seriously. But it cost almost as much as a Ford Mustang. And those farm girls just aren't worth that.
he word I have to enter to post this is "pkeeujo"...just that that was funny...
i still can't figure what you guys are talking about ?
all this talk about "shooples," "mustangs", "tatts", etc, is really confusing me.
the only thing i relate with is the "farm girls" ...reminds me of my clarkston days.
For those of you not in the know, here's a quick update: Wendy is my sister. She loves three things in life: dolphins, patriotism (particularly involving 9/11), and all things Disney. She's also 36 years old and has a man-stalking problem (as in, restraining orders). And that's just one of my three sisters, all of whom are descending upon NYC in two weeks. Someone will not come out alive.
I'm wanging Chendy hard. Even if Mr. Wiggum is at the same time. With a soccer jersey on.
you are very funny why don't you visit mine
CJB, Joey, you should visit Courtney's blog. It rocks.
Courtney, I like video games too, we have a lot in common. Wright me back.
Curt,
I have read your e-mails and actually they have been lost in translation if you know what I mean.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Best. Comments. Ever. Who knew Wendy could bring out the best in us?
And Courtney, I really dig your blog. Your style is so, hmm, stream of consciousness! I hope you do get your perment, get to drive, and go backpacking in europeand live in canada. You might want to re-think the Canada part though. People from there are effing weirdos. And let us know if your brother actually ran away. We can put out an Amber Chang alert...
Courtney, are you a native speaker?
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