5.30.2006

Trip of the Century: A Survival Story



I know I've been a long time gone, but blog updates come a distant second to wreaking havoc on Londontown with my yahoo friends from The Best University Ever.

Rather than provide a full play-by-play of our ridiculous (I'm using the term carefully, mind you) weekend, I've attempted to organize some of the trip highlights for your reading pleasure. I've categorized the debauchery in remembrance of our trip to the dog races Friday night, which saw "Oklahoma Pat" deliver over $20 on the equivalent of a $4 bet. The Dogs also taught us a bit about child rearing and bad haircuts (see pics above). If you can't tell, that little girl is wearing a harness (As I didn't want to spill my beer, I couldn't get a good pic of her running around with the tether), and that guy is wearing the worst haircut ever.

But I digress. And the award goes to...

ShowPlaceWin
"Eating is Cheating" - Building Pub Crawl BridgesTalking your way into a free Budweiser football (i.e. soccer) t-shirt, and insisting on wearing it all afternoon.Exhanging digits to meet up with a dude who spent time in, of all places, Cheybogan, Michigan. Dude proceeding to shout "Cheybogan!" repeatedly as high-fives abound at pub #2.Finding out that two guys sharing dirty cell phone videos in pub #5 (#6? Who knows.) are actually in SOCA, the UK's "James Bond" equivalent of the FBI. Subsequently discovering that said guys know all of the words to "Ain't No Fun". Belting out this new pub anthem.
"Some Racialism Isht" - Learning About Other CulturesLearning that most of the artifacts from the Parthenon in the British Museum were "controversially" stolen acquired by one Lord Elgin. Coronating the term "Elgined" as the new "Parikhed", which was incidentally the new "screwed over".
Causing a near melee in the Mexico wing of the museum by (jokingly) referring to it as a "bankrupt culture" in earshot of a Mexican-American woman. Witnessing the desecration of ancient sculptures at the hands of unruly riff-raff kids. If you didn't know, parents, your kids really shouldn't be climbing on two thousand year old museum artifacts.
"It's Your Party..." - Birthday EtiquetteCalling ahead to birthday girl to ensure 4 pints are waiting at the bar upon your arrival.Creating unnecessary birthday conflict while trying to cozy up with a fellow visitor, eliciting tearful (yet admittedly priceless) "But it's my birthday!" claims.Stealing birthday girl's phone to facilitate obtaining directions for your walk of shame back to the apartment.
"Bombed Out and Depleted" - Stumbling Home at NightNight 1: Falling asleep on the night bus (yes, again), waking up at the last stop, and deciding to take a nap on a nearby bench before venturing back. Proclaiming "it's getting light outside!" upon returning home.Night 2: Sprinting to catch the night bus, and somehow managing to take a picture for a nearby group of girls before boarding.Night 3: Supplicating desperately to be given access to the Gloucester Road Burger King. Abandoning the effort after multiple futile attempts, and instead loading up on a hodge podge of sandwiches, chips, and candy bars at the Tesco Express.

Stay tuned for Dishan's upcoming Guestblog entry, which I expect will play an integral role in connecting the remaining dots from the weekend. And just when you thought this blog couldn't get any hotter, I'm bringing the parents in this weekend and expecting another Guestblog for the ages. You heard it here first.

5 Comments:

Blogger Joey said...

At some point, after the Duncan-related high-five revelation, I forgot that I was wearing the Budweiser shirt.

I love the inspired format for the recap. I'll have my shit--a multiple-choice quiz--posted soon.

3:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guestblog will be here soon. I was planning on writing it tonight but got sidetracked when I was invited to a house-party with girls only in attendence. I realized that I was duped when the gentleman answering the door insisted on being called "9-milly." I shit you not. I promise I will not get succumb to my ADD tomorrow and I shall write the guest blog

5:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CJ,
I'm not sure your parents will appreciate that kind of sight seeing... they are retiring remember, so maybe a little more layed-back view of London might be more appropriate.I'm sure you will give them the full tour!
Have a good time can't wait to see you back in the states.

12:38 PM  
Blogger cjb said...

Still recovering from the weekend, but ready to hit Infernos with the parents on Saturday. Cheboygan!

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

too funny. nice recap-thanks for elevator shout out :)

7:45 PM  

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