School Disco Postmortem

Well well. Here we are, nearly a week after my courageous foray into the world of School Disco, and I haven't provided you with a proper update. My bad. Really. Unfortunately, between work Christmas Holiday parties (separate post forthcoming), work work, and turning 50 ish (holla AARP), this week has left little time for recaps. But enough is enough, as they say. Back to business.

First, I can imagine that none of you are familiar with this "School Disco". I'm not surprised, as my research indicates that it was unfairly left out of Lonely Planet's 2006 guide to visiting London. Then again that may be because it's a borderline brothel (would that get listed under "sights" or "nightlife"?). Picture this: It's 1988, and you've stumbled across a large congregation of people - about 60% women. It appears to be Halloween, but unlike most years, in which girls are dressed in an assortment of slutty (insert costume here) costumes, these women have exhibited a Nostradamian level of foresight. Each and every one of them is dressed as Britney Spears circa 1999 - at the height of the intoxicating video for "...Baby One More Time". And man are they frisky. You, my friends, have found heaven...ahem...School Disco.

I had been hearing legends about this place all year, and finally got to see the ridiculousness with my own eyes Saturday night. I learned the rules, threw on my favorite cardigan and borrowed English school tie, and proceeded to make a series of poor choices at the expense of only my own integrity. What can I say? My loneliness was killing me.

I have a hard time believing that this place opens its doors to these types of crowds every single Saturday night. That said, I've never been more relieved to wake up on my couch alone. I brushed my teeth like 3 times just at the thought of where my mouth had been. Ugh.

Who's up for next week?!